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My grandmothers nails running up and down my back
Slowly in comfort they lull me to sleep
The eyes I inherited on staring back at me
Teaching me to go for my dreams and success
This life I owe them much...

Sweet beautiful laughter teasing me
Comical faces of my sister
Bringing out the sunshine in my life
My family is my beating heart
Keeping me going in good and bad

Memories of breaking Bobbers
Ray's cooking meals made for 20
Eating "do not eat" packs or singing in the hose
Make me realize I have so much love
God has truly made me blessed

And although those people may not see
I have love pouring out at my seams
They will never know my gratitude for them
Without I would not be strong or passionate
They are keys to my soul, my life.
©2008-2010 ~BrokenxxReverie
:iconbrokenxxreverie:

Author's Comments

I started this tonight in bed but it screamed to get out and be born, so although I have fulfilled it's wish I know it is not poetically correct, it is about my feelings for my family, and I hope that overpowers you instead of how it is not the best poem ever....

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:iconlocalmime:
Hi, here with a critique:

I really like the concept and the imagery used. It is very touching, and even though I do share the same experiences as you, I can still feel the emotion. The only thing that stuck out to me was that some of the lines are 'weak'. 'Weak' lines either have too many unneeded words or are too dependent grammatically to the lines around it. I can give you specific examples if you wish. There are also a few small grammatical errors, but nothing a good proofread couldn't fix. Overall, it is very good.

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April 23, 2008
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